I could say something cruel about the New York Yankees, but I'm not going there. No, I'm not going to be one of those smug Yankee haters. Not a word about the Bronx Bombers strafing their own fans and dropping two consecutive games in their fancy schmancy new Yankee Stadium. Far be it from me to point out that a bunch of impostors in pinstripes had the bases loaded in the ninth and couldn't get the job done. Nor shall I stoop to mention that their 2018 season is now officially dead and buried.

No, the Yankees have suffered enough. They had to watch themselves play, after all. I shall instead take the high road of good sportsmanship and extend a heartfelt "better luck next year" and a limp pat on the back to the entire Yankees team, organization, and their entitled fan base. As the immortal Bard himself wrote in Julius Caesar, "When beggars die, there are no comets seen."