So very, very , very sorry for the 49,652 New York fans who witnessed the horrific slaughter at Yankee Stadium tonight. Oh, the humanity! My thoughts and prayers go out to them! All those $746 tickets wasted! All those sobbing junk bond traders puking in their limousines! The Yankee's best pitcher best was their catcher! Rudi Guiliani was helicoptered out after Boston's seven-run fourth inning so he could salvage the evening by burning a little midnight oil on Trump's legal defense, which would be a LOT more fun than watching that game!

The Yankees tried really, really hard. They earned their $167 million dollars by blasting five whole singles, and they scored enough runs to win but Boston scored a few more. (Fifteen more, actually.) The Yankees' offensive blitzkreig tonight was pretty amazing when you consider all the running around they had to do chasing those 18 hits that dropped in all over the place and the whiplash they were getting while watching all those Red Sox crossing home plate. They did their best. They are a professional team, and they'll be ready to play tomorrow in their fabulous pinstripes. None of you Yankee haters should get cocky or snarky or anything.